Saturday December 3rd, 2011

Well I had a decent night. I had a friend come over and she totally bunked out on me. Which sort've killed my mood. Plus she had body odor which wasn't really pleasant and she made me eat a lot. I ended up throwing up several times. I don't know why I ate with her, I didn't want her to feel over-weight or anything. She sat on the head part of my bed which really freaked me out, I practically yelled at her for sitting there but apologized later. I absolutely HATE it when people sit on that part of my bed, I mean that's where my head goes, SICK. I also don't like it when people let out their gases on my bed, just pure disgusting. I gotta wash my bedsheets today later on. And wash my floors. ANYWHO, I missed my show! I was going to wake up at 3AM and put it to Oddities, but I was far too tired and urgh! I missed it. That show is just amazing. I love how it has this gothic dark twist to it. Just beautiful.

Okay so next morning I wake up at 10 and she wakes up at 11 and she's really sick with a sore throat and she has the chills. I HOPE I don't get sick, getting sick is so unpleasant. Haha, I just looked behind me and it looks so beautiful out. Maybe I will go out today and jog around... the snow is so beautiful.

Well Friday was really interesting for me. My idiotic alcoholic brother totally trashed my laptop by spilling beer on it. That really made me angry that morning that I didn't want to eat. So I went on the bus angry as ever and I go to school, first class was math and I absolutely loved it, 15 minutes in I get frustrated and leave without saying anything and I head to the office and ask if I could get dropped off at home, yet it was only 9. They said I had to wait for 10, then a few seconds later they said they had to decorate the school van for some Christmas parade. They ask if I could get a ride home and I replied with, "Probably not" so I leave furious. (I feel like I'm developing an anger problem... well not really because my brother broke my precious laptop) So I start my way out of the school grounds and I'm on the road... a lot of people were driving by and looking. I felt so alone and so alienated. I tried making poetry in my mind with my words and such but I just couldn't do it. Plus it was so cold! I was almost (not really) home when my aunty's husband picks me up. That man has got to be the nicest person in the world, he's always so jolly. My aunt Louanne is just lucky to have somebody like him. So he takes me home and I thank him a million times. I head inside and I find my drunken brother already getting up to bother me and a lot of crap went down. He started crying begging me not to commit suicide, like who said I was going to end my life? I asked him why he thinks I was going to end my life and he says, "I get this feeling that your depressed, like me" and he starts telling me all this shit about him wanting to end his life. ~le sigh~ He tells my mother I have 'issues' and now I'm going to start seeing a counsellor. My brother is going to see one also.

I did not enjoy that Friday, although I got a new laptop.

Which was okay for me. Anywho that's all I wanted to say today.

xxxx