Does A Broken Heart Ever Really Mend?

Well here I am.. 5:01AM listening to break up songs. I feel pretty pathetic 'cause I got out of a relationship 4 months ago. I just miss him right now. I miss the way he sounds, his sweet deep voice, his charm, his jokes. I'm currently listening to Cauterize - "Porcelain" and it reminds me of him, one of the lyrics that were mentioned in the song were 'I'd rather be fighting with you than sleeping next to her' and it just sorta makes me think I'd rather be fighting with my ex, other than sleeping with some guy who is totally out of my league. (Mattie) I noticed he gets more ass than me.. and he's overweight. Every girl wants him and he wants me? I don't want him. I act like I want him.. for all the wrong reasons. His love doesn't fill the empty space in my heart that Tait left. (Tait is my ex) I miss all those memories I made with Tait. I miss fighting with him, I miss kissing him, I miss talking to him.  I miss him in general. I almost teared up back there. Gosh, I don't know what else to say.. but I really needed to make this, it was bothering me alot. Tait once told me, "Days will come and go, but my feelings are Forever" I wonder if he still has feelings for me, I have feelings for him.. still... after a whole year. It's been off and on.. cry after cry.. but he's just too awesome. I was his first.. and that meant ALOT to me. I wish I could talk about him around my friends but they would think, "Oh, what a loser.. she's not even over him yet and it's been what? A year." I just hate it. I miss him. I don't even think I know how he looks anymore.